It's very interesting how it takes it takes all parties involved to make a relationship work.
I like to pride myself on being one who is willing to be open, to apologize when wrong, and go the extra mile to make things right again.
Many times, this is very beneficial in enhancing the bond between myself and others.
However, it can be excruciatingly heartbreaking when you feel you take all of the steps to reconcile a situation, and the other person still blames you for wrongdoing.
This happened at work today.
In the busy-ness of the season, tagged with the feeling of being overwhelmed with the amount of work our staff can handle, I forgot to return a call before leaving on Tuesday of this week.
When I came back to the office on Wednesday morning, I noticed that the problem had been solved (thanks to my boss stepping in to help).
Going out of my way to reach out to our client, I apologized for my mis-step in the process. I really could have done things better, and felt badly I had not.
It turns out, the client felt the need to blame me, and berate me, and claim that I did not care about our clients.
This is actually the furthest from the truth, as many of my confidants (who have heard about my ongoing stress for the past few months) would actually say that I care too much.
In my effort to try and reconcile this issue, I was only confronted with anger and blame.
It was very hurtful.
I'm not sure about you, but I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes, and probably actually make them everyday. And, I often wonder when we can't step into another person's shoes to know that they are human, how will we ever be able to connect authentically? How will we continue to muster up the courage to live from the heart, when the heart gets shot down by others unwilling to take ownership of their roles in the relationships.
Perhaps this political climate of criticism is further sparking this fuel for us to alienate our fellow human travelers, and perceive them as wrong or inferior just because they hold a different viewpoint or have screwed up at some point in their lives.
I know that I can't change the mind or heart of anyone else. And, I there will always be others who disagree with me (and not be happy with me).
So, perhaps that the real reason for my hurt is this--I have allowed myself to care more about how others perceive me than my own connection with my true self.
Perhaps I should care more about my response to me, not how others respond to me.
I know in my heart of hearts that I want life to go better for everyone--for myself, those I like, and those who even criticize me.
Instead, I'm going to shift my focus into feeling good as I can, trusting that I am doing the best I can, and know that I will attract others who are ready for me (and my full heart).
I'm going to focus on surrounding myself with people who are supportive of one another.
I'm going to live an example of personal improvement, and feel good simply being an example to myself.
I'm going to be the person I was born to be.
I'm going to line up with who I am, and feel a sense of ease and comfort in that.
I'm also going to know my well-being so much, that my internal alignment with well-being comes more easily.
I'm going continue to live from the heart, so that people can feel the love that I am.
And, in the cases where I meet others who don't see the wholeness of who I am, I'm going to bless them on their journey. For I know that their criticism is simply a reaction of their own internal pain--not really a reflection of me at all.
Note: To further integrate these new ideas into my being, I did a Direct Your Course Activity worksheet for it. You can download a blank worksheet here, and use this easy format to further create clarity.