I contemplated starting my day with this bit of information, but since my goal is to be more authentic and real, the truth my be evident.
It was just a week ago that I dedicated a year of sobriety to my life goals... to have the clarity of mind and abundance of energy to put into the things, people, and intentions in my life that really matter.
But, dang if yesterday I didn't have a drink with my dear friend after our round of golf. In fact, I was so in the moment of having fun, enjoying the company of many new women, and relishing the refreshing flavor of lime, gin, and tonic water that I was oblivious to the fact that I was drinking alcohol.
It wasn't until almost 30 minutes later, when I was alone, that I realized what just happened.
My immediate response was to feel bad, that I let myself down, and that I had broken yet another promise to myself.
It didn't last long because the situation reminded me of what happens to all of us on a daily basis--our habits subconsciously run our lives.
Obviously, in this case, my "just say yes" motto to having fun (which often serves me when courage is required to try something new) became the autopilot response that contradicted my new goal to stay sober.
So, instead of berating myself, I began to look at a concept we're starting this week--switching focus on to our intentions instead of our failures. Just like the skier in the picture above picks their line, and looks to where they are going, I can do the same with other areas of life.
One of the best ways to do that is through your senses.
As you might already know, your body communicates to your mind through your senses—your sense of sight, your sense of hearing, your sense of touch, your sense of smell, and your sense of taste. The first three are usually dominant in most individuals, so we’re going to focus on them first. There is a process in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) called reframing, which has been successfully used to not only change limiting beliefs, but to also add clarity your goals.
The first time starting this exercise, it took me closer to 30 or 40 minutes. So, if you do want to try this yourself (hopefully many times) over the course of this week, I highly recommend you set aside time to do this without interruption.
It's a powerful tool to create a sense of alignment between who you are now, and who you want to become.
I'll go through the Direct your Course Activity here, and you can download this sheet to complete over and over again with any goal you have for yourself.
Step 1: Start with a goal. Chose any one of the goals you have in your 60-day or 12-month list you created last month.
Mine today: Have the inner knowing that I deserve to be happy
Step 2: Move into the future. Continue the remaining steps as though your goal from Step 1 has already been accomplished.
Step 3: Engage your vision. Answer the following questions: How would you see your life differently, now that you’ve accomplished your goal? How do you see yourself in the most positive way? What’s different in your life? List three examples (Visualize this as if the image was captured in a photograph.):
- I see myself standing on a perfectly manicured tee box, looking out over the green fairway of possibility, ready to swing my driver.
- I see myself dancing around the kitchen, pans and bowls everywhere, as I create a new recipe for dinner
- I see myself searching on Houzz for new designs to use in my latest house rehab project. (A seriously addicting website, if you haven't already checked it out yet. Amazing!!!)
Step 4: Engage your hearing. Answer the following questions: What would you hear others saying to you now that you have accomplished those goals? What people would compliment you on your success or changes, and what would they say? List 2 phrases (Imagine your best friend telling another friend about you, or listen to a friend congratulating you.)
- "Hey Kym, you are such a good friend. Thanks for having fun with me today!
- Kym, you are such a positive person to be around. i'd love to come out and play with you again sometime.
What would you say to yourself, now that you’ve accomplished your goal? List one passionate or enthusiastic phrase:
- I just love life, and so appreciate the many adventures I get to have in it!
Step 5: Engage your touch. This step engages your kinesthetic sense of feeling, via the skin and in any area of the body. Answer the following questions: What are the best feelings you can describe, now that your goal has been accomplished? List two positive feelings.
- a sense of joy bubbling up under my skin
- a sense of ease, child-like playfulness
Step 6: Tune into your Body. Where in your body do you experience the feelings from Step 5? List one or two body parts:
- my eyes shining brightly and an effortless smile on my face
Step 7: Check in with your environment. Consider the other people in your life. Might anyone else be negatively affected by you reaching your goal, or the changes you will make along the way to get there?
- no negative side affects.... everybody benefits from happy Kym
Step 8: Integrate the process. Sit in a brain-integrated posture (shown on the right) and repeat the phrase to yourself, “No matter where I am in the process to reach this goal, I deeply love and accept myself.” This usually takes 2-5 minutes. Finish when you feel a shift or you get tired of repeating that phrase.
Step 9: Celebrate!
Please let me know if you have questions about this process, as it's one that's designed to be simple, yet powerfully effective. See how it goes for you this week. I know I'm going to be doing one per day to really direct my course in a positive way. I invite you to do the same.